Hulk

Let's talk about superheroes for a moment shall we? Okay, there are things when I'm reading comic books or watching superhero movies that I can put out of my head to help enjoy it. I know that science does not necessarily have to be accurate. Collateral damage need not be taken into account. Logic in general is basically pointless. But no matter how hard I try there is one aspect that continues to gnaw away at me. It may be to many of you the most mundane aspect about these fantastic beings with even more fantastic powers.

Their names. One in particular really get at me.

The Incredible Hulk. I personally just find this completely redundant. Does it need to be said that the Hulk is incredible? Isn't it somewhat obvious that this juiced-up version of the Jolly Green Giant is a little more than average? I mean, this guy can run faster than my Volvo can go on the highway, he can jump higher than a Cirque Du Soleil performer on pogo-stilts, and he can effortlessly lift my entire office building. I don't get the point of that added title. Unless...unless there are other Hulks. Hulks of varying incredibility. Maybe out there, far and away from the heroics of the Incredible Hulk is another Hulk who perhaps isn't as interesting. Sure he's still green, and definitely still mean, but maybe he also has to work two jobs to support his family and he's still strapped for cash, getting bitched out by his wife every night for crashing through the front of the house again. And maybe he's inadequate in bed too. He's the Mediocre Hulk. Ok, now with that other Hulk in existence, I can understand why they would need to label the other one as incredible. It's all in the name of avoiding confusion.

"Hey, were we just saved by that Hulk I always see unloading flat-screen TVs by the hundreds at Best Buy?"

"No, you're thinking of the Mediocre Hulk. The Incredible Hulk was the one who stopped the meteorite from smashing us all to bits."

But to my knowledge, there is no Mediocre Hulk. I don't honestly know what the creators of these iconic heroes were thinking. "Incredible," is a word that is not needed to describe a superhero, it's basically implied. I don't call my friend Jim, "The Balding Jim." You see him, you see he's bald, it's obvious. With The Hulk, you see him, you see he's clearly incredible and it too is obvious. Unless there's a Mediocre Hulk out there somewhere working for tips at a car wash, then we don't need to get specific. We can just call him the Hulk.

So let it be known, future comic book creators, if I catch a new comic out there called, "The Heroic Sharkman" or some shit like that, then I'm gonna have to kick someone's ass.