A Dream That I Recall...Kind Of.

Time Travel
To dream about time travel, indicates your wish to escape from your present reality. You want to go back into the past or jump forward to the future to a period where your hopes are realized. This type also represents your romantic nature or your desire to romanticize everything.

The school day had been in full swing, judging by the congestion in the halls. The sleepiness of the kids had worn off by now and they were rushing from class to class during the frantic period that is passing time. I squeezed myself through the jostling students, bumping and smacking into each and every one I passed. As I picked up pace and saw an opening that would prove both bump-less and smack-less, a sense of fear suddenly swept over me. I couldn’t quite pinpoint where this feeling was coming from, but in came in swiftly and by surprise. A chill came over me, from head to toe, coupled with shaky knees and raised hairs. These animal instincts had to be based on something, they couldn’t just be a random response coming out of thin air.

What was it? Think, Derek, think. If this fear is based on something real, it’s going to be coming soon. What have you done lately to be in fear of anything? Think. Could it be?

Aaron. I had done him wrong recently, I couldn’t say what exactly because honestly I don’t remember that fact. It was bad, though, nearly unforgivable. That must be it; Aaron was the cause of my fear. But even so, what could he possibly have in store for me to make me feel so scared that nausea had begun to set in? It was the middle of a school day, witnesses everywhere in the form of teachers, administrators, and endless amounts of students. Don’t worry about Aaron, there’s nothing he could do to you here now. You’re safe here, it’s your sanctuary, your blanket of protection.

Almost forgot. I had to make a stop at my locker before I went to whatever the hell class it was I was going to. Locker 41 right there, no Aaron in sight, time to turn the numbers. 9…43…10…is that it? The locker clicks open as I lift the lever. Nothing falls out as I swing the door open; so I can breathe one more sigh of…

No! There it is again. That overwhelming fear, the chills, the feeling that I just want to lay down and turn off the lights until everything is okay. I instantly turn to my left; there are those instincts again. Fifty feet away and moving closer is Aaron, with what appears to be a ski mask on top of his head, not yet pulled down, but the fear factor is still there. Though very terrified, this isn’t quite what I was expecting. Sure, he’s coming at me in a menacing form, but it’s just him and…

Damnit. I shift my eyes just barely to my left; I see Brian and Matt behind Aaron, coming in my direction, both with ski masks with some obscured designs on them. The fear is rising exponentially in me, but I’m still saying to myself, “I’m in school, where I’m safe from harm.” The hall I’m in is still teaming with students, all who would see what was about to happen. Of course, they would merely make a circle around the action, not bothering to break up what was sure to be a fight with me taking the blows. I could always run, that was always an option, but was soon eliminated when the knees began shaking once more. Still, a pulsing sensation in my head kept telling me that this wasn’t over. The worse was yet to come.

There’s no way. Now that Aaron had broken away from the crowd, I could get a better view of him below the head. In his right hand, his dominant hand as it were, he was holding a run-of-the-mill handgun. Sweat is pouring down me, jaw slacked and gasping for breath, I was in trouble. Who was I to turn to? Some of these guys coming at me were my best friends. I wish I could remember what I had done to him that would make him turn a gun on me. Then he raised the pistol into my face. A hollow point was about to be rocketed into my skull.

The watch. This thought shot into my head faster then that bullet ever could have. The watch! The watch! The watch! Of course, the fear had blocked out the most obvious escape. My magic watch! This reality and physics-bending little ticker would send me away from my death, wherever I chose to hide. As Aaron leveled out his arm and closed his left eye for better aim, I grabbed my left wrist with my right hand and began turning the dial on the side of the timepiece. Apparently, this little do-hickey could both teleport and time travel the wearer of the watch. I was always able to control the destination, but never the place in time. Hmm, I had to do it; even if I didn’t know what time I’d end up in. I might be a few weeks in the future or in the past, but I had to risk this. I turned the dial a bit and kept thinking to myself, “300 hall. 300 hall. 300 hall.”

What a rush! The chills disappeared in a flash and were immediately replaced with a sense of absolute peace. Floating through the air, I dared not open my eyes, in case this magic watch hadn’t worked and was instead dropping from 10,000 feet into 300 hall. But just as this thought came to, the floating slowed considerably and then to a stand still. The peaceful sensation was fading off and the coldness of a floor hit my nerves. I decided to finally open my eyes to view the surroundings. “Thank God,” I thought. I was looking down an empty 300 hall.

Now safely across the school from my gun-toting compadre, I had to determine what time this watch had decided to drop me off at. All I could see were the familiar dull clocks that stuck out in every hall. It read 1:45 p.m., only 2 minutes from when I turned the dial on the watch. But was it still the same day, week, month? I need to find a classroom or a computer, anything that might show the date. I began walking steadily but with an air of uncertainty. The first thing that came to me was an empty classroom; I could log on to the computer in there. As I crossed the intersection of 300 and 500 hall, I realized I wasn’t alone in these halls anymore. A presence to my right drew my attention. I glanced in that direction to see who was coming.

Emily. She was one of my best friends, and luckily one who wasn’t preparing to shoot me or kick my ass, so her face was a welcome relief. Wait. What was happening? It only took a minute and she didn’t need to say a word to do it. My soul suddenly became drained of everything in it. Like my life force was gone, that existence was pointless. When she finally noticed me, it hit me. She didn’t smile when she saw me like she had before. Her eyes didn’t light up like they always did. It was as though she was looking at me through a different lense. This wasn’t the girl I knew, the one who filled my days with happiness. The one who, because of the simple fact that I would get to talk to her at some point during the day, made my least favorite class the most anticipated one.

This can’t be happening. Where could I be in time that she didn’t send a smile my way so that I could send one back at her? Was I in some horrible future where our perfect friendship had crumbled? Surely it would have to have been my doing. I can never imagine her being able to do anything to drive me away. It’s crazy how many thoughts and possibilities can come to you when you’re presented with a moment you never thought would come.

Deep breath. I approached Emily and gave her a smile that was met with a curious look. I disregarded this look and pressed forward. “Hey, Emily. How are you?” The curious look persisted and my smile faded away. She only answered with, “Do I know you?” I couldn’t believe these words that had just come from her mouth. Words I never thought I’d hear from her. It was like knife twisting in. Where was I? Was this real?

Months. For months on end we had developed one of the best friendships on record. She had gotten me into reading again after I thought school-based apathy toward it had rid my love for it forever. She got me hooked on Heroes. I would go to her home softball games, and had I had a car, I would’ve been at the away games too. She was smart, beautiful, engaging, and funny above all, but it didn’t take months to learn these things. Now what? I was in a time where one way or another, it was all gone. These happy memories we had shared together were still in my brain, but apparently in my mind only. These memories didn’t have the same feeling knowing I was the only one who remembered them. It was almost as if they never happened.

Dilemma. Clearly, as I looked into this gorgeous face, I was struck with a problem. No matter where I was, it was before we had grown into great friends. I would have to start anew. I would have to do all the things I had done with her over again. The little notes, the games, the jokes, the AP Bio class, the lunch at her house, the grad party, her leaving for two months and my coping, the return, the movie, the leave for college, the best Saturday night of my life, and eventually, I would again have to endure the night I tried to tell Emily how much she meant to me and her resulting words, “I just can’t.”

Start Over? It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds that this flood of questions and thoughts came over me. I looked into her eyes; she was meeting my glance with that same confused gaze. I looked down at the floor considering my situation. Would I take this long, winding road again, even if I knew the heartbreak that lied ahead? I looked up again and looked deep into those beautiful eyes of hers and I thought I saw something in there. Hope. I thought of that nagging question once more, “Do I go through all of this again?”

Yes. “Hi, I’m Derek,” I said. She smiled. I smiled back.
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And then I woke up.

Karma...Karma!

And here I am. I feel like that kid whose parents move him every few years and never lets him develop friendships at school and he can't have anything permanently. I'm not talking about myself personally, I'm talking about my blogs.

See, originally I was at Livejournal.com, which lasted for about a year or less. My most significant post on there was a retrospect on September 11th and how it made me into who I am today. Brewster read it and made a sarcastic comment. I laughed and left.

In February I got my MySpace account and have made approximately 10 posts on it. Just the little things of course. I still maintained my ambiguity (word of the day, Mr. Hughes) when discussing people and/or subjects I didn't want to be completely straightforward about. I guess because people frequented my 'space enough that my blogs picked up a little more steam there. Hopefully, even without the "friends" linked on here, I can get some views.

I'm on Blogger.com now thanks to my AP English teacher, who set up an account for the class so they may post and argue and discuss the books we read and the topics we cover in class. I suppose it helps because not all people like to speak up in class. I usually choose not to because it's too early and all my remarks would come across as snide and sarcastic. On the flip side, a lively debate, even one at 8am, is something that should be absolutely essential in an AP English class. Hopefully we can find a balance between online and real life. Anyway, this blog will work to mix business (school) and pleasure (everything else) topics of my ever interesting life. Business time is over, baby.

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First off, the title of this post is from a Simpsons episode, but it still has relevancy in this as well, which is why I chose it. The Karma I refer to is that of which runs my life lately. The early part of this week I was on a roll, meaning my confidence level was high, things were going my way, and I was finding the right parking spot everywhere. But then I had to check myself, because I believe the rules of Karma apply to me, and I was at a realization of what a high plateau I was on at the moment. How long could I stay up here? Surely not long. I started to fear that the next day would be the day that my good Karma runs out and i might get hit by a car or something. It was my fear for at least, I don't know, maybe 12 hours. But then came my daily source of relief and happiness, my friend Emily Kuhn came on AIM and I told her of my concern. Emily, who is now a freshman at Wayne State University, calmed me down and explained that I couldn't let the thought of this impending bad Karma get to me. That if I were to counter those thoughts with positive thoughts, and if I worked my "chi" in my advantage, my days would go unruined. I thanked her kindly for her help and went into the next day with positive thoughts. What do you know, my roll continued, my confidence was on the verge of annoying, and I was still snagging that parking spot I was vying for.

Then came Thursday. I apologize in advance for the upcoming ambiguity and such, but I still choose to keep some of my moments unblogged. Continuing, Thursday came and a moment of truth arrived, but with only middling, lackluster results. When you devout yourself to something for 9 months and work and work and work toward a goal and find yourself with barely any progress made, you begin to doubt whether the costs outweigh the benefits. That was my moment of doubt and weakness. Weighing these two options and try to figure out whether my goal was worth all of this. I slept on it, not my goal literally, but on the thought of it. I awoke to find myself saying, "yes". It's all worth it. The end result is everything to you. There is no limit to the work you'd do for it because it really is everything. And that's when my bad Karma ended. Yeah, that's right, [bleep] you, bad Karma. I apologize once more for this paragraph, which must just seem utterly confusing to you unless you're me or you're exceptionally deep into my mind and psyche.

So, I may on an off chance see Emily on Monday, and I'll have to thank her again for helping me get over my bad Karma Thursday. Where would I be without that amazing girl?

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Notes of Un-Interest...



-The Tigers have left me a broken and battered (no pun) fan of the team. I can't watch them anymore. Leyland better kick some sense into them over the off-season.

-Ms. Nasif isn't cutting it, and I know I don't stand alone on this issue. I'm sure other will agree when I say I wish Spier was still around and ripping it up in AP Econ.

-Tyler and I are in the process of beginning a load of videos. I'm sure one of them will end up on the announcements. Hilarity is what we aim for.

-I get money.

-If no one knows them by now, you will eventually. Flight of the Conchords is the greatest thing since...that oddly cut bread stuff.

-I'm retaking the ACT in October. I hope to boost my 29 up to at least a 30. Just that will be worth the money my Mom is shelling out for me to retake this.

-I made Jim Halpert as my picture representative for a few reasons.

1. I am convinced we share near identical personalities.

2. We both have that trouble getting the girl even though she's right there.

3. Jim is the man.

-Finally, having a car is great. Kinda lame way to end the first post. Sorry, I should've apologized in advance for that.