The Green Light Fades

On strike three, but dying for another swing,
He hoped to finally find the real thing.
Stratagems composed with precision,
Conversations practiced in advance,
Every word chosen was a conscious decision.

Desperate, over-thinking always found despair.
Foolish, believing that he had so much to share.
A word could haunt him for days,
But a laugh could give him hope for a month.
He always chose to ignore her disinterested ways.

Pressure mounted and leaks would spring;
Any separation gave his chest a sting.
Fancy thoughts of togetherness never receded
The truth was always masked by his illusions.
The venture a failure that he’d not conceded.

Finally, related dissolutions sparked a smile.
Morality allowed patience to hold a long while.
Bliss brought by others’ pain.
But selfish pursuits are blinding,
His year was all in vain.

Nerves gathered, heart became a drum
Twelve months on hold, now the moment come.
Written quickly, branches in wind write better.
A handoff and a scan.
Perspiration dampens the poor boy’s sweater.

The compassionate catharsis cracks the bond.
Now sweet serenades can’t soothe me.

My fingers are finding it tougher to speak,
Of this subject I’d now rather hide than seek.
Character and writer are sadly the same.
Both still break down at the sound of her name.
Therapy found through these amateur verses;
All clichéd compositions lacking heart,
I’m stuck rhyming “verses” with “curses.”

Goddamnit.

Where does one go from here then?
Have I the energy to do it all again?
Till then, walls will know my gaze well.
Stares a thousand yards long,
Lost looks and a shocked shell.

Do I move on or stay in my place?
Where do runners go when they’ve finished their race?
How will I feel now when I see her face?

Memories of mornings will remain.
She gave him a reason to sustain
Hope, belief, and faith, in the idea of love.
It’s nice to have known those days;
Living for a year on that idea of “love.”